Voiceless Part IV: Freedom’s End by Jesse Stonefield

“Who I am is not important. Today is about you, not me.” -Jodey

I used to try to hide my cigarette while sitting by your side.

I let you use my T-shirt while soaking in the dripping end of night.

All the burn holes in my heart remind me of your eyes,

But I could always still face you freely ’cause I really thought you’d be my Gemini.

I was so caught up in the girl who walked downcast through school halls.

Now, I only ever drink for fear that this life is my own fault.

I once gazed at your damaged perfection sleeping in my bed.

I once felt your razor-bearing pinky promise tracing all the scars within my head.

Drenched in karma as I rebuke every sickly deed I haven’t done,

And with your ring chained around my burning neck I knew the futile battle’s lost and won.

I wish you knew how it made me feel when you said you would’ve played with me those years I was alone.

When I grew up without a family in an empty, broken home.

I haven’t slept even to escape since the fading day we met,

But for the smallest glimpse of your lost soul i’d almost go through it all again.

I actually thought I was happy for a dying moment there,

But now I know beyond a shadow of your doubt you probably never truly cared.

The clock is blinking, stuck at midnight just like everything that doesn’t count.

Every time a young heart breaks does it even make a sound?

Maybe so many open legs, gashes, and lies came before you I knew it wouldn’t last,

But, come on now, please tell me why I believed I could trust you with my past?

Yeah, as if you’re even bad enough to suck up my worst dreams.

With this black ship in my bottle I can just drown out the chorus of siren screams.

The clouds bled so beautifully the day you walked away.

I guess our blue sky wasn’t meant to be and I have nothing left to say.

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~ by Jesse Stonefield on October 22, 2015.

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